Two Baby Becwars Await our Meeting

I have just returned home and settled down enough to update. The sonogram showed an empty sac. The doctor is pretty positive that I am miscarrying. Since nothing is showing up, including a heartbeat, it would appear that the baby has already been re-absorbed (great mental image huh) and this has been in the works for some time. My energy burst yesterday probably had something to do with the jelly donut I ate and completely unrelated. In case you are reading this and thinking that I am way too calm for what is happening, I assure you I am not. I am trying to make phone calls to tell the people who need to know right away and each time I am convinced I’ll be able to say it outloud without crying and each time I fail. I’m working myself into a migraine sobbing silently and there is nothing that makes it stop besides complete distraction. Since that’s pretty impossible right at the moment, I’m stuck. I am scheduled to go to the hospital for a confirming ultrasound at 4:15 and then the doctor will advise me how to approach this miscarriage. I’m only 25 and two of my children already await meeting me in heaven. No matter how much I “know” I didn’t do anything wrong, I feel like I failed them already. At least they aren’t hurting like I am.