In Awe
I understand that God made all things. At least I think I do. I understand that they are all complex, all part of his plans, all wonderful. But can I ever grasp HOW complex? HOW much they intertwine in his plan? or HOW wonderful? I don’t think so.
Last night was a rough night. After sitting on the floor indian-style (no offense intended, that’s what they called it in school) and battling with my son to get him washed up and changed and nails cut and pajamas on and ready for bed, I stood up and my back gave out. It was excruciating. I’d even go so far as to say that it was more painful than how I felt on the way to the hospital to have my son. Wow! I struggled to straighten up, knowing I couldn’t stand bent over forever. I made my way inch by inch to the fridge, and felt like I hung on for dear life. Thankfully, after the bedtime battle, the little dude was completely content to be left alone on the floor. I slowly got to the changing table, leaned back and waited to be rescued by my husband. He brought me advil and water and I got into the recliner, very carefully and painfully and tried to relax as he took the baby and the dogs for a walk.
Later, as I was in the bathroom, I heard a thump followed by screaming. My son had crawled off of the bed as my husband has his head turned for a moment. Truly an accident, and to get to the point, he’s fine, but scary nonetheless. What was amazing to me was that I had gone from barely being able to climb the stairs, struggling to help my son when he got his arm stuck and near tears… to practically jumping up from the bathroom to rush to his aide. That scream seemed to pierce my soul. He was hysterical. Silent for parts, with the screaming face, but so upset he couldn’t make a sound. It was awful. Some tylenol, an ice pack, nursing and snuggling later, I finally had him swaddled and in bed. Then I was in bed myself, researching infants and concussion symptoms.
Today, as I was telling the story of the evening to a great friend, I found myself awestruck at how complex God created us. Despite pain and other circumstances, God designed us to be able to act under pressure. God designed us to accomplish the impossible when it is necessary. Only He could create beings who have warnings when something goes wrong (back spasms) in order to keep them calm to heal, but still creates a back-up plan for the unthinkable. He had a built in IV of adrenaline on hand for just such a moment. And thanks to Him, I could be there for my son, despite my pain, because God designed me just like that. WOW!
I set timers through the night to check on my son, see if I could make him stir, ensure he was wake-able. Turned out, I didn’t need it. Little guy was up and down like clockwork. Eating normally, making diapers normally, snuggling up normally, and sleeping well. Not even a bruise on that little head, and no mark except for one tiny red spot. No signs of trouble today and he’s doing great. What a relief. Thank God for creating us so durably. And Thank God for MayoClinic.com. Yet another moment in my mommy-hood where I was grateful for technology!
Oh, and my back is okay. Still tight, a little tender, but functioning. Gonna try to be more careful about how I lift and carry my 25 lb wiggle worm!
