Hickory Dickory Dock, It’s Almost 3 o-Clock
I fell asleep last night, while pondering many things. It is one of my blessings/shortcomings/whatever. I often think through and can solve problems. I am equally capable of obsessing over minute things and losing sleep. Last night, my thoughts made me laugh. I thought about how I really should blog about how my mind works. How I drift from one thought straight into the next. I thought how my main problem would be that, even with the most efficient keyboard, my mind travels much faster than my fingers, or even my tongue. Ever since I learned to type, I daydreamed of being able to journal with my eyes closed just by moving my fingers as if they were typing. For as long as I can remember, I recall feeling that even that technology wouldn’t be able to capture my ramblings. Then I move on to thoughts of technology that could work as a recording device, almost like a telepathic tape recorder, and directly dictate my thoughts into written word. I tried to decide what I would write about, assuming I got the time. Perhaps I should read a little of one of the many books waiting for me, and write about that.
Believe it or not, this thought thrust me into feeling guilty about thinking about writing the blog at all. After all, if I have the time to write the blog, I should spend it reading, improving upon myself for my family. But then, should I be writing at all, or reading at all. Aren’t I better for my family working on things like legos or trains, laundry or cooking, weeding or playing? What place have books and blogs and daydreams? Then I feel guilty for watching Star Trek Voyager while I nurse. I mean, what a guilty pleasure. I could be watching documentaries, informationals, educational programs that would better equip me for mothering. Or, better still, I could work harder at mastering the art of nursing in a carrier. The only reason I feel fatigued by carrying my little angel is that I am out of practice, after all. What’s another 15 lbs as I complete my duties…
One of the things that has amazed me about this “motherhood” transition is my newfound ability to survive. Maybe ability is a poor choice of words… perhaps determination is better. My determination to survive… like Seven of Nine on Voyager, I adapt (yeah, I like my Star trek). On minimal sleep, full time mothering at home is a “round the clock” job. My children don’t sleep in quiet little rooms across the house. My dogs don’t sleep downstairs in kennels. My husband and I don’t enjoy a few hours of alone time to wind down. Last night, I nursed Baby Girl to sleep in my arms and transfered her to her crib, just across from the foot of our bed, while hubby rocked our Little Man into his slumber in a rocking chair, and transfered him into our bed as we both climbed in. My pre-bed prep was completed in the tiny in between period, hubby’s while I nursed and we whispered goodnight, each holding one of Little Man’s hands and away we all went into dreamland. Baby Girl woke me almost an hour ago, which is earlier than “normal” and my mommy mode switched gears, remembering she fell asleep with a 100.3 fever and that I needed to feed and change her and check her temperature. On the couch, she dozed while the temperature got it’s readings. No more fever, and a sigh of relief from Momma Bear. Now onto diaper… oh wait, she’s not dozing, she’s out cold. Do I disturb the little one who got her 4 month shots yesterday, fought a fever through the.evening and is cutting teeth? Nah, instead I keep her sleeping, her legs resting on mine, as I relearn the art of rambling on my blog. After all… you’ve read the title, right?
August 4, 2026 Note: The title of my blog at the time of this posting was Momma Melanie : Ramblings of a Full Time Momma. I have come and gone from the blog many times over the years and the therapeutic nature of blogging still remains.
