Time to Learn, Grow, Change & Stand Firm
Have you ever noticed that sometimes, when you have gotten out of a relationship or a situation and had some time to think or breathe, you start to notice things that you didn’t notice before? Sometimes you realize that things were better than you had originally thought. Sometimes you look back and realize that things were worse than you thought. Sometimes you think about how you had handled it and realize that maybe you could have handled it differently, or should have. Perspective is funny.
When things are happening to us, we tend to let our emotions tint our view. For instance, when someone hurts our feelings, everything that follows that moment is shaded with hurt. Likewise, when someone compliments us, the following moments are additionally brightened with pride. We (most people) are not great at living in the moment. We think about the implications of everything, we approach with caution or expectancy, we anticipate… Children, not so much.
I so enjoy watching my son. I enjoy seeing how a little human handles life when he is allowed to handle it his way. I admit, my son pretty much runs the show, and I am almost completely comfortable with that. It isn’t to say he “bosses” me around, but I do not feel the need to micromanage his tiny life. Not yet, anyway. He is still nursing, and on demand, gives me cues when he needs a sippy or a snack, lets me know when it’s diaper time and definitely shows obvious signs when he’s beat. I don’t try to force him awake when he is tired, and I do not try to force him to sleep when he is not. (That said, I try to keep nighttime a sleep-related time regardless…) Partly because it is the nature of little ones, and partly because I let him make so many tiny decisions, his behaviors fascinate me.
It’s the little things that I enjoy watching. I love watching his face when he sees something new… a door opened, a drawer pulled, a cd put into a slot, blinds opened… I love seeing him thinking, and watching him as he tries to emulate the behavior, often successfully. To him, he is solving problems, copying the big people, exploring new territory. When he gets something new in his hands, he manipulates it, turning it over and over, pushing, pinching, throwing, and pounding it on other items. He tests the strength, studies the sounds, and tries to use it with other things. He is an explorer, innocent and curious.
I love that when he comes and pulls on my leg and I sign “milk” to him, he begins laughing and dancing, bouncing up and down and generally gets so worked up that he gets the “hiccups.” He is all about the moment, trying to communicate, being understood and celebrating. What a joy it is to watch life moment by moment. This trip has been all about living life. Being positive, enjoying our time, creating good memories. If he is smacking a spoon on a table to hear the sound, trying new dance moves, laughing hysterically because someone peeks around a corner, coming over for repeated hugs (just checking in) or banging doors open and shut to play peek-a-boo, I try to enjoy the fact that my little guy is exploring, and he is enjoying life.
This is a time for learning, growing and bonding with my son. It is also a time to look at who I am, what I represent, what I am teaching him… and deciding whether it is the best I can do for him. It is a time to stand firm in what I decide is best for my son. It is a time to enjoy the growth, the development, the sheer wonder that is a little one. And I am loving every moment of it. Here are some highlights of the last two days…
One is my son, out cold at a dinner out. He was asleep when we got to the restaurant and never did wake up. Slept right through dinner and it was wonderful! At the end, he started stretching, I held his head, and this is how we ended up…
Another is my little guy snuggling up to my mom at a lunch out. Same scenario, he fell asleep on the way and didn’t wake up the whole time we were there. This time, though, he kept sleeping after we left and put him in the car too. He was tuckered!
And then my munchkin rolling around during a diaper change. Yep, this is normal, though he isn’t usually smiling like that. What a ham!
Overall, it’s a fantastic trip. Today, the little dude got to play with his great-grandmommy and great-granddaddy. He got to go visit Omi’s work and go shopping. We enjoyed some quality time with family and some much needed sleep last night. He seems to be absolutely loving having so much room to romp and so much attention. What a joy it is to be here. Every day I am more tickled that he is my son, and more grateful that God blessed me. Every day I am more determined – more motivated – to do the absolute best that I can. And by golly, I’m gonna! Here’s hoping you are all having good weeks! I know I am!
