Is there such a thing as too much information?

I just watched a commercial that I love every time. It is one by the Foundation for a better life. A little boy is missing in a theatre and the curtains open and he is playing a simple tune on the piano on stage. The star pianist of the evening walks out and tells him don’t stop and adds to his music, creating a beautiful tune and delighting the little boy, and the audience. “Encouragement – Pass it on” says the ad. And its over. I get goosebumps normally for those types of ads. I love seeing a genuinely sweet act of kindlness. Plus, it said it was a true story. Now, I tear up. Funny how hormones make me so sensitive.

This morning I did some research online about Crohns Disease and Pregnancy. I was not surprised to find out that many Crohns sufferers are infertile, but most are able to conceive and carry children with the same degree of success as women without Crohns. Another thing that I learned is that the severity of Crohns symptoms at the time of conception tends to remain steady throughout the pregnancy as long as the woman is under treatment. It was encouraging to see that the medications that I am on are considered safe and that Crohns, while being treated, doesn’t increase my chances of miscarriage.

I also did some research about pregnancy symptoms. Mine have been funny the last few days. For a long while I couldnt sleep on my stomach because I was so tender in my chest. Then, the last two nights I hardy had any sensitivity at all. My bloating and gas are still in full swing, though my nausea seems to be subtler. No spotting, no concerns there. I am still super emotionl, and get hot and cold and can’t seem to be able to maintain any sort of comfortable temperature. After searching online about symptoms varying, I was relieved to find out that many many women are up and down in severity of symptoms. I’m guessing I’m at about 8 weeks now and that can be a turning point in the change of symptoms.

I am trying to not over do it, and not panic all of the time. This seems to be working ok for me so far. As my emotions flare, it gets more difficult sometimes. For now, I’m going to eat some mac and cheese and hot dogs and fold some laundry. Again, I keep telling myself that I am not entitled to this child. It is God’s child, as am I and when he is ready to let me take care of it, it will be. I know that I am saved, I know he promises to be merciful and that he doesn’t wish me harm, but no where in the bible have I seen a promise that I will have a child. So I try to remember that God is Good, all the time, and that he knows what I need more than I do. Tough, but truth.