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Welcoming Baby – 1 Month
Talk about ready to have this little man. This is what I looked like before he finally arrived! He would kick around my heart and I would feel like my whole body was beating. So strange. I was so anxious for him to come. He even stayed in longer than expected. That was a surprise because at 32 weeks it looked like he wanted to come early. Hunter finally arrived on April 20th! He was 9 lbs even and 20 3/4 inches long. What a handsome little guy! One week late, 8 hours of labor and he was finally here! Our little angel! By the time Hunter arrived, my parents,…
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Dreaming of Food
Just about everyone who knows me at all knows I’m a foodie. I have my favorite foods, my favorite restaurants, my favorite smells… The last few weeks I didn’t have cravings per say…. nothing sounded awesome. Certain foods sat better than others, but I didn’t have a specific wish list. Then the dreams began. I dream that I am visiting in Maryland, surrounded by friends and family and my favorite foods! I dream of liverwurst sandwiches on baltic rye bread (sorry, Oma, I like it better than the fancy stuff…). I dream of rouladen and sherbert at my Oma’s house. I dream of crab dip and comfort foods at my…
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Bring on the Grilled Cheese…
A great friend of mine told me yesterday that I should savor the breaks from pregnancy symptoms. I have thought about that idea… though I find it very challenging. I am trying to remember that if the pregnancy ends prematurely, me feeling better is better than me feeling worse… and that if it is going well, I really could use a break to catch up on household chores. Yes, even in a camper, there are many chores. I got a good laugh last night when I put on pajamas that I purchased on our trip to Houston. I was convinced that I was losing weight, in all areas, in the…
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Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
Every person is different, and every pregnancy different. For me, though I’ve been pregnant before, it was during a stage in my life where I was struggling with Chrohns, unknowingly and because I miscarried, a “normal” pregnancy would presumably be a little different. I find myself clinging to the very little information that I am familiar with (which isn’t really very comforting.)I started off taking the pregnancy test when I had to run back and forth to the bathroom and was tired all the time. I suppose I was tender, but it wasn’t horrible. Since then, I had a spurt where I couldn’t sleep on my stomach because I was so…
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Is there such a thing as too much information?
I just watched a commercial that I love every time. It is one by the Foundation for a better life. A little boy is missing in a theatre and the curtains open and he is playing a simple tune on the piano on stage. The star pianist of the evening walks out and tells him don’t stop and adds to his music, creating a beautiful tune and delighting the little boy, and the audience. “Encouragement – Pass it on” says the ad. And its over. I get goosebumps normally for those types of ads. I love seeing a genuinely sweet act of kindlness. Plus, it said it was a true…
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One Day at a Time
I’m sitting on the couch in the camper watching John & Kate + 8. It’s one of the older episodes where they visit Disney World. Carolina is parked next to me, sleeping like the angel she has been all day. Jake is hiding out in the bedroom. I think he picks up on something being different with me. Jake is my little protector. He guards me, always has, and picks up on every little thing in my mood or health. He’s been particularly agitated for somewhere near a week and he seems to be exhausted by it. Carolina has mellowed out a ton since we arrived in Houston and I’m…
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Admissions
Last night I wasn’t feeling well at all. This morning there were signs of trouble, regarding baby and crohns. James took me to the emergency room. I was sure I was miscarrying. After a few hours, lots of labs, and three ultrasounds, we had some information. I was having, as we thought, a major Crohns flare. However, we got some other news. The baby is there, safe and sound, heartbeat and everything. I got to see my little polka dot! Additionally, they think I’m 11 weeks along instead of 8! How exciting! They admitted me for the night so I am writing from a hospital bed attached to IV fluids.…
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Everything is different now
It is amazing how in one instant everything can feel like it changed. Just days ago I was planning how I would manage to dress properly for canoing when my wet suit doesn’t fit any longer. I had written a list of projects we needed to accomplish to prepare for biking, canoing, camping and hiking this summer. I was thinking through how to travel with a baby for my cousin’s wedding next year and realizing that I would never have a Christmas alone with James – ever. Life as we knew it was changing rapidly and everything our future had to offer had to allow room for our baby. And…
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The Calm before The Storm
Typically, when a crisis strikes, I am able to stay calm, help to find a solution, ensure that everyone is ok and help everyone make it through, make sure that the mess following is straightened out, and then I go home. Our recent loss was similar. After the initial shock and disbelief, I was angry and I ached, but I was able to quickly put that aside and figure out what happens next. I was strong through the beginnings of the drama, even through the hospital trip for the D&C. When we came home, though I choked back tears, I was able to make the neccessary phone calls to friends…
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Moving on, without Moving?
Emotionally, I think I am doing quite well handling our loss. I feel like I was open enough with James throughout the pregnancy that I was not alone in understanding the weight of the change and the loss we experienced. His tremendous support and understanding have made the emotional burden bearable. I feel emotionally ready to get up and go do something and enjoy life. Unfortunately, my body is not rising to the challenge yet. I am very quickly exhausted, requiring amazing amounts of sleep, experiencing muscle and nerve cramps and irritations in random places and random moments throughout the day, fighting persisting headaches and still experiencing cramping. I have…
